Flapjack Records has been well preserved for:

FLAP018:
That Peruvian Boy - "I Came To Jam EP"

A1. Don't You Know
A2. Love We Feel
B1. The Jive
B2. Gangsta Slam

The bowels of Flapjack Records are very excited and relieved to push That Peruvian Boy out onto some vinyl.  What a relief!  This new EP is so phat that we thought it might have required a trip to the hospital.  There is no enema strong enough to work this hot piece out.  This would require some dance floor surgery.  "I Cam To Jam EP" is like the signature dish of Peru and works like magic on the dance floor as well as your taste buds.  Here are the simple ingredients that make such an explosive experience:

The main squeeze is a carefully stir fired and flambed "Don't You Know".  This is the filet mignon of EP that is succulent, fat, and juicy in all respects.  The beats are hoppin, the bass is deep, and the hook is something you want to sink your teeth into over and over again.  The tune is so pleasing to the ear buds that it will make even the sternest of vegans want to bite.

Next thing you need to do is toss in some "Love We Feel" for some intense flavor.  Sautee these in the mix for that added muster of groove.  This is the ingredient that makes the leap from a good mix to a great dish.  Don't be sparing with this tune either.  Plenty of this will add flavor like a calculator in math class.

"The Jive" is like that miracle vegetable that makes the base for everything.  It's the tune you will want in every mix for the next year.  Once you are familiar with this ingredient, without it, your mix, your dish, and your life in general won't feel as complete.  It's the difference between whether you brush your teeth before bed.  You either wake up fresh or you don't.  Your mix will end up the same way, so just be smart and practice good hygiene.

The last ingredient is the sugar and spice of the dish.  "Gangsta Slam" really turns out this EP and makes this signature dish amazing.  This tune is no garnish.  Even though it is the last tune on the EP, it will most likely end up as the first tune in many mixes.  The vocal hook and break down push this track to the brink or your taste buds.  It's got that flavor that is just as amazing as the first time you taste, every single time.  It's the added spice that completes That Peruvian Boy's masterpiece and first vinyl release "I Came To Jam EP".

Flapjack Records has brewed and skewed:

FLAPD28:

Rescue & Uriah West

"We Don't Sleep EP"

     A.   Up All Night

     B.  Gotta Do Right

     C.   Turn Me On

Flapjack Records welcomes back our old friend Uriah West to the organization, but this time he brought his comrade Rescue along with him.  These two Denver, CO short order entrepreneurs have been rocking all night shifts for decades now in the roadside diner of danceable delights.  All the way up here in Chicago, Rescue & Uriah West team up to serve you their "We Don't Sleep EP" with two creams and a lot of sugar.

Sometimes you feel like a trucker, sometimes you don't.  When I do, I love to drive up to a dirty old roadside diner and order up a greasy delicious belly buster of a meal.  "Up All Night" is a fine name for such an establishment that you can count on to serve up not only flapjacks, but all manner of greasy delights that let the beats move right through you like a musical laxative.  This is the kind of joint you will find dudes like Rescue & Uriah West working.

Now you "Gotta Do Right" by loosening your belt a notch or just wearing pants with an elastic waistband to these establishments.  The beats are cheap, but come piled thick...and don't you go worryin 'bout service neither.  If Rescue ain't around he's probably in the shitter, but Uriah West will be by your tables in a jiff to make sure you have plenty of funk piled high on your groove plate.

If you are really feeling it, then the only thing that is going to be screaming "Turn Me On" is the faucet in the bathroom, cuz you best wash all that mess off your face.  Rescue & Uriah West wouldn't want you going back out into public looking like your face got painted like an infant in a high chair.  These boys will take care of you real good,  make sure you is well fed, and at least one strap is up on your overalls.  You can stop on by the greasy spoon anytime and see em as the "We Don't Sleep EP" is kind of built out of their motto.  Who else is willing to serve steak 'n' eggs, flapjacks, burgers, and beats at any hour day or night?

This release is available digitally now exclusively at the following locations:

Stompy | Jack Shack

Flapjack Records is greased and ready for:

FLAP017:
Jackin' Box - "Cow Tippin EP"

A1. Back Up Your Groove Thing
A2. I Like It
B1. How Good
B2. Jack Yo Ass Up

Returning to Flapjack Records vinyl department after a 10 release difference are those lovely UK chaps Jackin' Box.  To celebrate their return, they present us with the time honored traditional fun filled experience of the "Cow Tippin EP".  I used to think this may have only been an American past time, but apparently this is an international phenomena.  Not only do we love to eat cows, but we like to fuck with them for fun, by pushing them over while helplessly asleep standing up in a field.  What a total dick move, but is as equal in fun as it is in douche baggery.  So Flapjack commends these boys and the fine jams that have inspired such mindless fun.

If you are big fan of a huge pile grade A angus beef chops, then "Back Up Your Groove Thing" is the fatty patty for you.  This is an all out jam thick with greasy funk.  The slap bass and vocal groove are so good that it raises your cholesterol just hearing the hook.  Watch your phat calorie intake when the synth lead busts.  That shit will not only make paper plates completely transparent, but clean your bass bowels like a colonoscopy on the dance floor.

"I Like It" is exactly what you are going to be saying about this wagyu beef slab.  Thick and juicy all up in the speakers, and it sounds so good it makes your mouth water.  It must be all that massaging these steers get before the dancehall slaughter.  The cut renders like a massage for soul belly.  You will like the taste, but absolutely love the mesmerizing sound.

Being in the land of fat America, I can't help but think "How Good" burgers are.  They are just so damn meaty and tasty delicious just like this next cut.  This is by far one of the best dance floor searing sizzlers Jackin' Box has cooked up in a while.  This cut just smokes the platter every time.  "How Good" is so damn good that you gain weight just by listening to it.

The last pound of ground chuck funk is a swing blaster called "Jack Yo Ass Up".  Keeping with the times, this joint incorporates fresh flavor with time honored swing house traditions creating an overwhelming sensation of "get yo ass up n dance".  Don't worry about the fat and oil content because all you need to know is that it will come out just as wonderfully as it came in.  It's the circle of trust.  You can definitely trust Jackin' Box to really bring it on this new "Cow Tippin EP".  The bring it, tip it over, and then run like fat chicks after new years from the cops!

This 12" vinyl release is now available at the following locations:

Downtown 304 | Juno | Gramaphone

Flapjack Records is fat and sweaty after:

FLAP016
The Sound Diggers

"Don't Flap Just Jack"

A1. Drop Da Funk
A2. Bump Funk
B1. Bearnejackity
B2. Floor Swinger

Returning to the kitchen after an over extended jaunt in the bathroom, The Sound Diggers grant us with another slap happy handful of flavor with their new piece entitled "Don't Flap Just Jack" .  Here at Flapjack we do encourage everyone to wash their hands before returning from the bathroom to the decks.  With the nasty low down n dirty grooves that are all over this EP, I am not so sure The Sound Diggers washed up very well, or at all.  As we say in the business, when you get dirt in your salad, eh, it's just a lil' flava.

If you really like a good crisp salad that isn't too many calories but tastes ok, then get a side salad from a funeral luncheon, cuz "Drop Da Funk" is so fattening that you can't even use a salad spinner to dry the leaves that go in it.  The wopping 10,000 calories of baddass is deep funky jazzy jack house ballz.  Just put it in your mouth and mumble in enjoyment.  This has Midlands, UK flavor all over it.

"Bump Funk" is the dressing with a blessing.  That signature Sound Diggers bounce is all over this tossed up goodness.  Spread this tune all over your set and watch as flavor just pours from the speakers.  Slap bass hit, vocal stabs, and rhodes ruggedness seeps all over your groove with this tune.  This also goes great on burgers and steaks if you are feeling saucy.

On my salad I always like a few pepperoncini peppers.  They always add a bit of crisp bite and heat just like "Bearnejackity".  It puts the swing in your salad that's for sure.  It is definitely the bear necessity of every salad in my opinion.  If you don't think so, that's cool, it's your opinion, and go fuck yourself cuz I'm writing this shit and it's a pain in the ass coming up with new food music relationships.  Anyway, swing house, salad, "Bearnejackity", it's a dope track.

Let us not forget about the crusty croutons on the top which make every salad worth breaking your jaw over.  "Floor Swinger" adds that toughness crunchiness to every set just like croutons on a salad.  Wicked sax, bouncing beats and bass add the up funk n crunchiness that round out a perfect salad bar banger.  Make sure you load up on all the fixins here on the "Don't Flap Just Jack" EP cuz once The Sound Diggers salad bar opens, this shit is going to fly right off the serving plates and all over the dance hall.

Flapjack Records has twerked and twanged:

FLAPD27:

Arco

"Filter Kutz EP"

A.   Feel The Beat

B.  This Like That

C.   Disco Love

D. Say Something

Flapjack Records welcomes Arco back into the kitchen with a sink full of dishes.  So let's get washin'.  After the dishes are done we can get to picking about the hot new "Filter Kutz EP".  If you are ever one for Czech Cuisine or Bohemian delight, then this EP will grow on you like a fungus.  This EP is celebrated just like mushrooms are at the Houby Day parade.

The first bit of funky fungi is a rare breed often found growing under the tiles of dance floors called "Feel The Beat".  Considering the place that it grows, you really can actually "Feel The Beat" under your feet on the dance floor.  It's a bit squishy, but when picked at the right time, can result in enormous flavor, and overwhelming booty busting on the dance floor.

Sometimes you get into a DJ booth where there is overwhelming evidence of moisture.  This is usually due to sloppy drunk ass DJ's and DJ groupies spilling drinks all over the place after a wild night in club.  These types of conditions are perfect for the "This Like That" type of fungus to flourish.  You will often find that if picked at the right moment you will get astonishing results, but if picked a bit too early or too late, you will probably just shit your pants.

"Disco Love" is a throwback to a time when it was acceptable to eat the mushrooms that grew under cow shit and get stupid in public.  This kind of behavior was actually celebrated.  Now it's illegal, but maybe not in the Czech Republic where mushrooms are a staple in the local diet alongside good times.  Either way if you are going to get naked, this is the jam to do it too.

The last bit of fungus among us is an aged to perfection, firm on the outside, but spongy on the inside shroom called "Say Something".  After a hunk of this morsel goes down your food tube you will definitely "Say Something".  You may find yourself saying something like "HOT DAMN!" or "Where's the fucking bathroom?"  Either way you will be saying it loud and clear.  You may also find yourself telling all your friend, relatives, and loved ones about this killer new "Filter Kutz EP" from Arco and how it has changed your life forever as well as your bowels.

This release is available now digitally exclusively at:

Traxsource | Jack Shack

Just when you thought that greasy delicious extra helping of biscuits n gravy was enough to make a movement, Flapjack Records busts into the breakfast mix with "Gut Bombs" by our bowel friendly funmaker Nate Laurence.  Nate Laurence of the famed duo Scrubfish n Laurence first appeared Flapjack Records back on FLAP003 with a snappin remix.  Since then Nate has gone off on his own cooking excursion to get a little greasier and dirtier up in the kitchen.  "Gut Bombs" is testament to his grits n gravy dance floor gut bombing new style.  Dig it, but stay close to a bathroom.

If your innards and dance floor are ready to rumble, then grab an earful of "Handjobs For The NRA".  This tune is full of bang with a relentless bass that will send you straight to the commode with a 5 alarm fire in your pants.  Grab your holster belt and fill it with extra toilet paper, and every time you hear that air raid siren, clench.

"Melktart Facemelt" tastes as good as the name sounds.  Just like those popular chocolates with candy coated shells it melts your face, not your hands.  Speaker freakers be warned of the extremely dope hip hop aspect to this grimey port-o-john jam.  Break dancers be breaking a brown one off in the porcelain pew when this one breaks down.  Ye be warned!

The third pile of steaming goodness "No Crapalous From Minneapolis", has a very nice shout to Chicago.  Nate must have been impressed with the bathrooms here in Chi-town during his many visits (to the crapper).  I would be too considering even the shittiest nightclub bathroom still has one of those dudes hovering ready to put soap on your hands and give you a piece of gum for a crappy tip.  This slice really takes you back to the eighties with its upbeat guitar rhythms and undeniably catchy vocal.

The last roll of double ply, " No Crapalous From Minneapolis (Emil Lanne Remix)", takes a cleaner approach to this aural mischief.  One listen to this jam and you can tell that Emil must have been potty trained at an early age and probably has a baday in his water closet.  The production is clean as a whistle and is like having a shower after a really bad crap.  The beats are creamy and bass line is soothing to that nasty dance floor indigestion.  It is a perfect way to clean up such a nasty good EP.  Make sure you read the warnings on the label and consult your physician before dropping "Gut Bombs" on a dance floor near you.  Be prepared to watch an explosion happen on the dance floor.  Hazmat suit may be required.